BREAKING : Pope Francis to Pontificate on Easter Sunday at Traditional Latin Mass in St. Peter's Basilica!

VATICAN CITY - In a surprise announcement this morning, the Director of the Vatican Press office, Father Federico Lombardi, S. J., announced that Pope Francis will celebrate a Pontifical Mass in St. Peter's Basilica on Easter Sunday morning. The Holy Father has been studying in secreto the Traditional liturgy. The Pope was ordained in 1969 right after the implementation of the Novus Ordo Missae by Pope Paul VI. Although he is familiar with the ancient Mass from his youth and years in seminary he has never celebrated it as a priest. Lombardi would neither confirm nor deny reports that the Society of St. Pius X has been quietly working behind the scenes with the Pontiff on the liturgical finer points.

When asked about singing the Mass, Lombardi said, "Well he is a Jesuit after all, but Pope Francis will chant quietly in recto tono those parts of the Mass particular to him as the Holy Father has some difficulty with singing. 

The Pope will enter St. Peter's Basilica carried on the sede gestatoria not used since the short pontificate of Pope John Paul I, suspected of being murdered by the wolves Pope Benedict XVI warned about. As for papal vestiture, 

Monsignor Guido Marini verified that "the Pope will will be properly dressed." This will include the fanon, buskins and gloves as shown in this photo of Pope Paul VI. In fact, he will wear these exact vestments as shown including the mitre as these were used by Pope Paul VI the last Pontiff to celebrate the most solemn and ancient liturgy of the Latin Rite in St. Peter's Basilica. 

It was also announced that the papal court has been reconstituted today in the Motu Proprio "Quis ego sum iudex nimis" by Pope Francis and the procession will include the ostrich feathered flabellum not seen in over a half-century.  In an effort to dissuade fears amongst PETLNFB -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Large Non Flying Birds, Lombardi said that in "harmony with the upcoming encyclical on the environment, no ostriches were harmed in the accumulation of feathers." Father Lombardi was uncertain if the Holy Father would wear the Papal Tiera.

Lombardi also announced that Father Thomas J. Rosica, CSB, of Salt + Light Television, Canada's Catholic Channel of Hope will be handling the worldwide broadcast of the Holy Mass. In keeping with Pope Francis' Year of Mercy, Father Lombardi praised Rosica for his recent merciful example to an obscure and dyspeptic blogger. 

Sources indicate that ever since Father's interview with Bishop Bernard Fellay, SSPX, he has been secretly studying the traditional rites and has been consulting with experts at the Toronto Traditional Mass Society on the finer points of the liturgy. Father Rosica is studiously preparing to celebrate the Extraordinary Form of the Roman Rite and the Ego Sum Vox Cantoris Schola Cantorum is expected to provide  Gregorian chant. The Mass is to be held at Holy Rosary Church to commemorate the departure of the Basilian Fathers and bless the recently renovated rectory. It is reported that the original rood screen, now stored away in the basement, is being reconstructed for the occasion, just in case.

Countering speculation that this story is too far-fetched to be true, Father Lombardi indicated that a new fresco has been unveiled outside the entrance to the Chapel of the Hotel Santa Marta where the Pope says Mass daily which should answer any doubts as to the veracity of his announcement.