Happy Holidays from the Jesuits!

 

Day of Spite and Petty Malice - a contemporary take on the Dies Irae

With credit to:

Day of spite and petty malice!

When a document most callous

Came forth from the papal palace.

Oh, what nuisance it inventeth,

And what rancor it fermenteth,

As the faithful it tormenteth.

Loud complaints will be resounding

Every chancery surrounding

Bishops with a headache pounding.

To what end this persecution?

Whom enriched by diminution?

For what is this the solution?

See, the faithful are divided

By the place where they resided

Some shepherds took, while some provided.

Lo, the ones whose loss is graver

Traded for a tyrant’s favour

May God send them leaders braver!

When the figures are recorded

They will tell a tale most sordid

Enemies of faith rewarded.

Those with modern ways complying

Parishes once vibrant, dying

Gone, the sound of babies crying.

Long neglected, yet deep-rooted

Ancient vineyard richly fruited

Might for envy be uprooted.

Prayers that pestilence averted

Rites that continents converted

Shall such treasures be subverted?

May we never take for granted

Beauty sculpted, written, chanted

Save, O Lord, what Thou hast planted!

See, the sacred incense rising

Michael’s sword the foe surprising

Smoke of Satan exorcising.

Those with rigor still sustaining

And the older fasts maintaining

Will stand firm, their strength not waning.

Those the narrow way pursuing

Those to purity yet hewing

Will not here find their undoing.

Though it may not soon get better

With each poison papal letter

May God yet His Mass unfetter.

Like the Church of old, forbidden

Underground, in places hidden

Spreading though with troubles ridden

Spiteful day, of harvest rotten

Better to be soon forgotten

For this purge, O Lord, prepare us

(Though we’d rather You would spare us!)

Lord, we ask on this dark day

Make this nuisance go away

Amen

Hurry while supplies last - Francismastree ornament

We've just discovered hidden in the storehouse and just in time, some of those Francismastree ornaments from 2017. 

What better way to give due honour and glory to Bergoglio the Ingrate and to celebrate the new Feast of Francismas than to give all due honour and praise to his new mission against rigidity and his taking on the anti-messianic role as the Non Salvator Mundi by purchasing  one of these for your FrancisMasTree?

Get your new Francismastree Ornament while supplies last.

Supplies are limited.

Special new price:

$6.66

Get it now to ship before Francismas!

BREAKING: POPE DECLARES CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL

ROME: V.C. News - The Pope said "the changes of seasons and climates warn us" and that "before long we may look" for other signs in the "sun and moon and stars."

In his First Homily on the Gospels as recorded in Matins of the First Sunday of Advent, Pope St. Gregory the Great (540 - 604) has confirmed "climate change" undoubtedly understanding that the climate in fact, does change, and then changes again.

Interviewed about Pope Gregory's comment and the obvious conclusion that the climate is always changing, George Soros' dupe, Greta Thunberg, said that "the climate crisis is not just about the environment. It is a crisis of human rights, of justice, and of political will." With Soros looking on approvingly, Thunberg then confessed to being a communist stating that, "Colonial, racist, and patriarchal systems of oppression have created and fueled it. We need to dismantle them all."

Homily by Pope St. Gregory the Great,

1st on the Gospels

Our Lord and Saviour wisheth to find us ready at His second coming. Therefore He telleth us what will be the evils of the world as it groweth old, that He may wean our hearts from worldly affections. Here we read what great convulsions will go before the end, that, if we will not fear God in our prosperity, we may at least be scourged into fearing His judgment when it is at hand.

Immediately before the passage which hath just been read from the Gospel, are found the following words of our Lord, Nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and great earthquakes shall be in divers places, and pestilences and famines. Then, after a few more verses, cometh today's Gospel. There shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations with perplexity, the sea and the waves roaring. Now some of these things are come to pass already, and we fear the others are not far off.

In these our days we see nation rise against nation, and their distress over all the earth, more than we read in books hath ever come to pass of old time. Ye know also how often we hear of earthquakes overwhelming countless cities in other parts of the world. As for pestilences, we suffer from them ourselves, with hardly any intermission. As yet we do not see signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; but the changes of seasons and climates warn us that we may look for these also before long.

Triggering circa 1 BC (Before Christ)

Don't mess with the lay faithful!

Satire becomes reality

I first came across this humorous satire in 2010, I posted it on Facebook and it came up this morning in the memory feed. It was sent to me by a Catholic friend. When I asked him years earlier about his conversion and what he converted from, his response was, "Communism!'

How odd that given the babbling "homilies" of Father Bergoglio this Christmas we should find this and the realization that all these headlines could actually serve as papal homilies.

Ding Dong! Everybody's High for Francismas

And don't forget your Bergoglian Francismastree ornament.

Still at a special price of $6.66.

He's not a simple bean, he's a noble fagus!

Well, I still say he's full of beans!

Twas the Night before Inauguration

Twas the night before Inauguration, and up in the tower,
The Donald reflected on his newfound power.
The conservative masses had come out in force,
And delivered a victory that would chart a new course.

The snowflakes were shell-shocked with tears in their eyes,
The media lied to them . . . What a surprise.
They had been promised a Hillary win,
But the criminal Clinton took one on the chin.

And though from all corners celebrities flew,
They made no impression, for they hadn’t a clue.

They talked about climate, racism, and such,
And they made up good stories . . . But didn’t know much.

The fake news and ignorance came at a cost,
And they can’t understand all the reasons they lost.
They blame it on Comey and Bernie and Vlad,
But fail to acknowledge the one that was bad.

Yes, Hillary Clinton, in many ways flawed,
Was her own biggest hurdle toward getting the nod.
The campaign exposed her corruptness and greed,
And her speeches were punch-less as ten dollar weed.

So out in the streets there arose such a clatter,
It was Soros-paid protestors and Black Lives Matter.
With cities to pillage and windows to smash,
They knew not the issues, but needed the cash.

Eight years of Obama had given them cause,
To expect a replacement of their Santa Claus.
But soon the protestors will feel the pain,
When the wheels fall off of the old gravy train.

And now all the snowflakes are riddled with fear,
Upset and offended by things that they’ll hear.
The cocoa and crayons will help for a while,
But fact-based opinions will soon cramp their style.

I originally supported, and voted, for Cruz,
In the end, I would vote for whoever they choose.
He wasn’t my first choice, but soon I would cede,
The one they call Trump is the one that we need.

I saw him on TV in front of a crowd,
He spoke about veterans, it made me feel proud.
He spoke about energy, safety, and jobs,
Taking this country back from the Washington snobs.

He was dressed in Armani, all tailored and neat,
And the Brunos he wore made the outfit complete.
For a man of his vintage, he seemed rather fit,
And he looked presidential, I have to admit.

His eyes glowed like embers, his smile was the best,
And his hair was the color of my old hunting vest.
His love for this country was on full display,
And his actions spoke louder than his words could say.

He thanked all his voters, and before he was gone,
Saved thousands of jobs while Obama looked on.
The fate of this country left nothing to chance,
So, he filled out his cabinet weeks in advance.

The men he had chosen were of the same mind,
Let’s set the bar high, and not lead from behind.
He picked up his phone as he rose from his seat,
With a flick of his finger, he sent out this tweet:

“Now Mattis!, now Kelly!’ now Sessions! And Pruitt!
On Perry! On Flynn, You’re the ones who can do it.
Start lifting restrictions and building the wall,
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

The roar of his audience rose from the stands,
He kissed all their babies and shook all their hands.
He answered their questions and calmed all their fears,
They knew it would be a fantastic four years.

Then he jumped in his limo, and off to his jet,
A fellow that Liberals won’t soon forget.
He sent one more tweet as the evening expired;
“Happy Inauguration to all,
AND OBAMA – YOU’RE FIRED!”

Author Unknown!

Phyllis Zagano wants $50.00 - and U.S. too!

A delightful email arrived in my inbox last night. It seems that I published too many words.

The link is now there instead of the whole article.

$50.00?

That's all your work is worth?

I would like to encourage people to make a donation in the name of Phyllis Zagano to the Society of St. Pius X's new seminary project. Remember, a donation of $5,000 will have Phyllis' name engraved on a plaque in a seminarian's room.

https://www.newseminaryproject.org/donate/

From: Phyllis Zagano [mailto:Phyllis.Zagano@Hofstra.edu]
Sent: December 12, 2016 8:26 PM
To: voxcantoris@rogers.com
Subject: invoice

Sirs,

I note you have published one of my columns (http://voxcantor.blogspot.com/2016/07/phyllis-zagano-and-national-schismatic.html.) Please remit your payment of U.S. $50 immediately, to the below.

Phyllis Zagano, Ph.D.
Senior Research Associate-in-Residence
Department of Religion-Heger 104B
115 Hofstra University
Hempstead, NY 11549
516-463-5615 (office)
516-463-2201 (fax)

http://people.hofstra.edu/faculty/Phyllis_Zagano/

http://www.fios1news.com/longisland/hofstra-professor-chosen-by-pope-francis-for-commission-aug-3-2016#.V6dUG7grKCh

A blessed Punch-a-Heretic Day!

http://jonasthedunce.blogspot.ca/2014/12/i-saw-santa-punching-arius.html

I saw Santa punching Arius

I saw Santa punching Arius

in the council chambers at Nicaea.

He just couldn’t stand

to hear the heretic expand

his theory how Our Blessed Lord

was not much more than just a man.

Then I saw Santa grabbing Arius

by the beard to pull him off his chair.

The other bishops were justified,

in assuming this was undignified

throwing Santa in a cell for the night.

I saw Jesus and His Mother

come to Santa praying in his chains.

Christ asked, “Why are you here?”

“All for my love of You.”

Off fell the chains and to him was given

the pallium and the Gospels.

St. Nick went back up to the chamber

amazing everyone at the sight.

They said, “It must have been righteous anger!”

“It is Arius we must excommunicate.”

“The Son is consubstantial with the Father.”

On a more serious note:

 

This the confessor of the Lord, whose triumph

Now all the faithful celebrate, with gladness

Erst on this feast-day merited to enter

Into his glory. 

Saintly and prudent, modest in behaviour,

Peaceful and sober, chaste was he, and lowly.

While that life's vigour, coursing through his members,

Quickened his being. 

Sick ones of old time, to his tomb resorting,

Sorely by ailments manifold afflicted,

Oft-times have welcomed health and strength returning,

At his petition. 

Whence we in chorus gladly do him honour,

Chanting his praises with devout affection,

That in his merits we may have a portion,

Now and forever. 

His be the glory, power and salvation,

Who over all things reigneth in the highest,

Earth's mighty fabric ruling and directing,

Onely and Trinal. Amen.

See how mad they be?

See how mad they be? And I mean mad in both the meanings of angry and deranged.  

Go back to Hell, Satan!

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Bergoglio, Spadaro, Martin, Rosica know it, and th...": 

You probably won't post this but you will read it. Actually, it's you and your ilk that are done. When the Holy Father finally ex-communicates the right wing dissenters you will be no more influential than the literally dozens of sedevacantist and independent "Catholics". Yes, you'll have your little chapels with maybe 50 or so adherents. You'll have schism after schism as you decide issues like whether or not to allow the Novus Ordo in your chapels. In the end, you'll be as relevant as the CMRI of SSPV or Pope Michael is today. 

Publish
Delete
Mark as spam
Moderate comments for this blog. 

Posted by Anonymous to Vox Cantoris at 8:58 am, December 05, 2016 

Not only friend, have I published your cowardly little rant, I've given you your own post of it.

I'll leave it to my readers to respond to your bile.

BREAKING NEWS! -- Blase Cupich pledges to meet traditional Catholics "where they are." Pfleger reportedly in ecstasy!

In honour of Blase Cupich, Archbishop of Chicago, named a Cardinal today by the Bishop of Rome, we give you this post originally from October 23, 2015.

Or then there are these:
http://voxcantor.blogspot.ca/search/label/Archbishop%20Cupich

In a stunning announcement today, Blase Cupich (Soup-itch as in Campbell's Mmm, mmm good Soup for Sodomites), the once seminary Rector at the Pontifical Josephinum in Ohio who obliterated Christ the King, from the chapel of St. Turibius, made an incredible move towards the restoration of the Catholic faith in Chicago.

In an exclusive interview with Vox Cantoris, Archbishop Cupich stated that, "If people come to a decision in good conscience to attend the Church's traditional Roman Liturgy then our job is to help them move forward and to respect that. The conscience is inviolable and we have to respect that when they make decisions, and I’ve always done that.”

Faithful Catholic are human beings

Denying that Catholics attending the Latin Mass in the Church's traditional liturgy were ever prevented from doing so, Cupich stated, “I think that people who desire the Traditional Latin Mass are human beings too and they have a conscience. And my role as a pastor is to help them to discern what the will of God is by looking at the objective liturgical teaching of the Church and yet, at the same time, helping them through a period of discernment to understand what God is calling them to at that point,” said Cupich.

The traditional Roman Mass is for "everybody"

Cupich concluded that, "It’s for everybody. I think that we have to make sure that we don’t pigeonhole one group such as those who desire the traditional Roman liturgy as though they are not part of the human family, as though there’s a different set of rules for them. That would be a big mistake."

Pfleger experiences ecstasy

Following the announcement by Cupich, Father Michael Pfleger experienced an ecstasy and has reportedly levitated. Sources indicate that the "levitation" was similar to that experienced by St. Philip Neri. 

Pfleger has been studying the Church's traditional liturgy and is now concluding his Latin studies. Cupich has approved Pfleger's demand to open an Oratory of St. Philip Neri at St. Sabina's in Chicago with a Pontifical Mass to be presided over by Cupich on Gaudete Sunday this coming Advent. When asked why Gaudete was chosen, sources close to both Cupich and Pfleger indicated that the "pink vestments" would send the right message.

http://rapidcityjournal.com/bishop-bans-latin-services/article_b37a5c37-b5a4-5af6-8014-48d9f5ef9da7.html

Bishop bans Latin services

March 27, 2002 11:00 pm  •  Mary Garrigan, Journal Staff Writer

RAPID CITY - A standoff between Latin-rite Catholics in Rapid City and their bishop has left the Latin Mass congregation of St. Michael's choosing to celebrate Good Friday services on the sidewalk instead of in church.

Members of the Latin Mass community, which has met in Rapid City for the past 12 years at Immaculate Conception Church on Fifth Street, say Bishop Blase Cupich has barred them from celebrating Good Friday and Easter vigil services at the church in an attempt to mainstream them into the English-language Mass.

"We've been prohibited by the bishop from celebrating the Easter Triduum liturgies and locked out of our church from noon on Holy Thursday until 8 a.m. on Easter morning," Dan Carda, 58, of Piedmont, said. Carda is a Latin Mass adherent who refuses to participate in the new-order English-language Mass that was mandated by the Second Vatican Council.

Instead, Carda and some of the other 220 members of St. Michael's congregation will gather at 3 p.m. today for Good Friday services on the sidewalk in front of the church.

Cupich sees his decision to not allow Good Friday Latin services at ICC as an invitation to unity, not a denial.

"We're just looking for an opportunity on an annual basis for us to all worship together, for one moment of unity as a Catholic church," Cupich said. "I'm looking for one time each year to do that, and it seems the day the Lord died for us all would be a good day to do it. That's all that this is about."

He said he would like the Latin Mass community to recognize unity with the wider Catholic church. "There has to be some occasion on a yearly basis to reflect the fact that we are one church under one bishop," Cupich said. "I would ask them, 'Why do they find it so difficult, on the day of the Lord's death, to celebrate with their bishop, who is the sign of the Lord's unity?'"

Carda sees it differently.

"This is his most-effective time to crack down, during Holy Week," Carda said, noting that Catholics such as he expect the elaborate pomp and circumstance of the Latin rite during Holy Week.

"I'm quite upset. It's disappointing and very disheartening," Carda, who has drafted a letter of complaint to Pope John Paul II, said. "I don't know why he feels like we are such a danger to him."

Carda and the Rev. Valentine Young, pastor of the St. Michael's community, say celebrating Holy Week in Latin is their right. They have a different understanding of the pope's position on the continuation of the Latin-rite Mass than does Cupich. The bishop's decision to prohibit some Holy Week services, as well as his recent decision to not allow children to make their First Communion or to be confirmed in the Latin rite, is contrary to the pope's wishes, Carda said.

"As long as the pope authorizes the Latin rite, I don't feel like I'm in violation of any of the legitimate authority of the church," Carda said.

After Vatican II, Carda stayed away from the Catholic Church for 30 years, returning only when the Latin rite started being celebrated again in a Sturgis congregation. "To me, the Latin rite is the real church. When you attend, you feel something very special that you do not when you attend a Novus Ordo (New Order) Mass," he said.

Young has said that the Ecclesia Dei document (the papal document allowing for the continuation of the Latin rite for people having trouble making the transition to English) ensures the right to worship in Latin. The document says, "Great respect should be shown to people still attached to the former Latin Liturgical Tradition." Cupich, he said, "is not showing these people respect by what he is doing."

Cupich says he's sorry the Latin Mass community is having trouble with his invitation to worship with him at the main Cathedral of Our Lady of Perpetual Help during Holy Week instead of at Immaculate Conception. "I'm supportive of their desire to have Sunday Mass there, and I'm going to be very patient with them," he said.

But his understanding of Ecclesia Dei is that "… eventually, Catholics have to understand that the reform of the Second Vatican Council is, in fact, an improvement and is important to our spiritual life."

Rome, Cupich said, has made it clear that any celebration of the Latin tradition is at the discretion of the local bishop. "And I've made my decision," he said.

Complaining about him to the Vatican and worshipping on the sidewalk probably won't help the Latin-rite cause, Cupich said. "My impression is that it will not help their standing with the wider church."

Forget the Francis Effect, go with Khalilah

As time moves on, more and more Catholics are coming to the realisation of what is happening in the Church. Even the secular media, has begun to notice.

The Rosicas of the world can keep perpetuating the narrative of the France Effect. What is this Francis Effect? Is his reaching out filling the pews, the RCIA's, the Confessional line?

That is not my experience. In fact, it is the opposite.

What is yours? Are people coming back to your parishes because of the Francis Effect?

Carl. E. Olson of  Catholic World Report has much to say.

http://www.catholicworldreport.com/Blog/5091/francis_has_built_his_popularity_at_the_expense_of_the_church_he_leads.aspx

Or if you need a break from reality, there's always Remy!

Fruits of a feather

Fruit salad?

Or fruitcake?

Just because ... we need to lighten' up a bit.

Donald I

This is just too funny ...

http://a-cnn.com/index.php/articles/item/2027-trump-becomes-catholic-now-running-for-pope

Converted Trump Now Running for Pope Featured

Written by  Chris Jackson | Remnant Columnist

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Donald Trump - Next Pope?

In shocking news first reported a week ago, businessman Donald Trump has converted to Catholicism and has now declared his candidacy for Pope. Today's announcement coincides with critical statements Pope Francis made about Mr. Trump not being a Christian. Mr. Trump just held a rally outside of New York City. Although video is not available, A-CNN has just acquired the audio transcript which we are providing below:

Thank you….thank you. You know, when I first started this campaign, people didn’t believe me. First they said, he’s not converting, he’ll never convert. Then I converted. Then they said, he’ll never get baptized, he won’t want the water to mess up his hair. But then I got baptized. Then they said he won’t get confirmed, and I got confirmed. And then they said he’d never run for pope. Well here I am, and I’m running for Pope; and I’m doing very well I must say.

(Cheers, applause)

I don’t have to do this, when you think about it. I really don’t. I’m rich. I’m really, really, rich. I built a great company; a tremendous company. I employ thousands and thousands of people. So my friends, they ask me, they say Donald, you have everything you can dream of. You’re rich, you have an amazing wife, an amazing family, you’re very successful, why run for Pope? And I say, you know what? I have to run. My Church needs me. The Catholics need me. I have to make the Catholic Church great again. I have to.

(Cheers, applause)

You know, it’s a sad thing to say, but the Church is in such bad shape; terrible shape under Francis. The Catholic Church doesn’t win anymore. We just don’t. When is the last time Catholics won anything? Lepanto? When was that, the 1500’s? We don’t win anymore. But, let me just say, Under a Trump papacy, we are going to win again. We are going to win so much. We are going to win so much you are all going to be sick of winning, ok? But right now, it’s terrible. Just the other day, I see the Pope is praising Martin Luther. Martin Luther! Can you believe it?

(Boos)

Our Pope is over there praising Martin Luther; meanwhile millions of Hispanics are converting to Protestantism in Latin America. It’s true. We are losing millions and millions of people to the Protestants and our Pope does nothing. He does nothing. And I have nothing against the Protestants. Many of them are good people. I employ thousands of Protestants. I used to be a Protestant. But their leaders are just too smart for our leaders. We have people in power in the Church today who have no idea what they are doing. They are incompetent. All our leaders do is “dialogue.” We don’t convert anymore, we “dialogue.” What the hell is dialogue? Excuse me, but shouldn’t we be converting these people? If we have the Truth, why aren’t we converting them? But we don’t convert, we “dialogue”, and we lose millions and millions of these people to Protestantism. They are saying if the head of the Catholic Church thinks it’s ok to be Protestant, why convert? Why do we need to convert? Let him convert. Let the Pope convert. That’s what they’re saying. They’re laughing at us. There is no respect there. No respect. When I’m Pope, they are going to respect us again, let me tell you.

(Cheers, applause)

Another thing I hear a lot about is 2 Vatican. Have you heard of 2 Vatican?

(Crowd yells “Vatican II!”)

Vatican II? Is it Vatican II? Vatican II, 2 Vatican, who the hell cares. It stinks right? No matter what you call it, it stinks.

(Cheers, applause)

I was just looking at the numbers the other day, folks. Before Vatican II – tens of thousands of vocations to the priesthood and religious life in this country, thousands of baptisms, first communions, confirmations. Thousands and thousands of converts. Catholic universities all over the place, and I mean real Catholic universities, not the universities today that call themselves Catholic. Tens of thousands of Catholic schools with all kinds of nuns. There were so many priests the parishes were overflowing, ok? You couldn’t walk down your street without bumping into a priest, that’s how many of them there were. The Faith was exploding, it was really amazing, it was unbelievable. And then…. You have Vatican II.

(Boos)

Then you have Vatican II and they change everything. They change everything! You have the best Church in centuries, a flourishing Church, a vibrant Church, a converting Church, and they change everything. Now how stupid is this? How stupid?

(Boos)

You know people try to criticize me and they say I speak too plain and too simple. Look, I have a great education, I finished top of my class at the Wharton School of Finance, the top school in the country. I have a huge vocabulary. It’s huge. It really is. But when I see something like this, there really is no other word for it. I have to call it stupid. Because it is. It’s stupid. There’s no other word for it.

(Cheers, applause)

So they’re succeeding. The Church is succeeding, and they change everything. So then they say in Vatican II that the priests aren’t really the priests. I mean, we’re all priests, right? Isn’t that what Martin Luther said? We’re all priests? The Pope’s buddy, Martin Luther?

(Boos)

Then they try to say, oh but there’s a difference. The priests in the collars, if they even wear collars anymore. I saw a priest the other day; he was in a turtleneck and a cardigan. He looked like Mr. Rogers. Who the hell wants a priest that looks like Mr. Rogers? Who wants that? I don’t know. Anyway…so the priests in the collars can say the Mass and they can hear the confessions, but in every other way, we’re all priests. Men, women, kids, maybe even Muslims. I don’t know, can Muslims be priests under Vatican II? I have no idea. I wouldn’t be surprised folks, I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s crazy.

(Boos)

So then they say we’re all priests and what happens to the priesthood? Plummets. Numbers go through the floor. Why be a priest if everyone can be a priest? Makes no sense. So now, if you’re a priest you can do what? Consecrate and absolve, right? Consecrate and absolve. So what do they do? Now they have “Communion Services.” They call them “Communion Services” ever heard of that?

(Boos)

The priest consecrates a bunch of hosts and then a layperson, usually a woman up at the altar in a pantsuit. Probably Hillary. I wouldn’t be surprised if it were Hillary.

(Laughter)

You ever notice today that all the nuns dress like Hillary? When did that happen? When did nuns start dressing like Hillary? It’s scary. It’s really scary. Anyway, you have some layperson up there and they read the Gospel and say some words and do this and that and then they hand out the Communion that the priest already consecrated. The priest isn’t even there, he just consecrated the hosts. So in other words, he’s disposable. But then they’ll say, but he can hear confessions. He can hear confessions, but who goes to confession? Who goes to confession nowadays? When the Pope says “Who Am I to Judge” who goes to confession?

(Boos)

It’s all about mercy now. The year of mercy. God has forgiven you. So nobody goes to confession. And it makes sense, quite frankly. If I’m already forgiven, why do I need to go to confession, right? So then the priest numbers drop through the floor. No vocations. We had tens of thousands of vocations before Vatican II and now no vocations. And then they say, well we have no vocations, so we need to allow married priests and women priests, and maybe even Protestant priests. Have you ever heard of Protestant priests? Why not? We want to be inclusive, right? Don’t we want to be inclusive? Ridiculous, it’s just ridiculous.

(Boos)

That is why when I’m Pope we are going to make the priesthood great again.

(Cheers, applause)

We are going to make the priesthood so exclusive. I tell you. So exclusive and so special, you have no idea. We are going to have the best priests, the brightest priests. They will be lining up to enter the seminaries. And the seminaries will be the best seminaries, let me just tell you. No more dopey professors. The seminaries are a mess today, they’re a disgrace. You might as well have Bernie Sanders running our seminaries that’s how bad they are. They’re filled with dopey professors from the 60’s. Their brains are burnt from whatever they smoked. Who knows what they smoked back then, God only knows what they smoked. But they’ll be gone, I promise you, they’ll be gone.

(Cheers, applause)

They will be gone and the priesthood will be great once again. I will make the priesthood so exclusive. And you know how I’m going to do this? By building a rail. By building a great big beautiful altar rail in every single Catholic Church, that’s how.

(Cheers, applause)

A big beautiful altar rail separating laypeople like you and me from the priests. Of course, I’ll be on the other side of the rail, because I’ll be Pope, but you understand.

(Laughter)

We have to build a rail because we cannot let anyone and everyone into the priesthood and we can’t diminish the priesthood. We want the best and brightest priests and to do that we need to make the priesthood great again. The priesthood isn’t great today. Our priests aren’t respected today. They are laughing stocks. I saw one the other day he was actually riding something during Mass. I had to ask my friend, I said what is he riding? He said, a hover board. I said what the hell is a hover board? Under a Trump Papacy, you ride a hover board during Mass you can keep riding it right out the door because that’s the last time you’re going to be allowed in.

(Cheers, applause)

So I’m going to build a rail. A big beautiful altar rail separating the priests, the true priests, the real priests, the priests with the cassocks and the collars and the vestments, from the laity. Because it’s not the same, folks. It’s not the same. Priests are priests and lay people are lay people. No more confusion. No confusion. The priests are the ones sacrificing to God on our behalf; we merely assist the priest as he offers the sacrifice.

(Applause)

That’s right. You know where I read that? Do you want to know where I read that? It’s a book called Trent. I’m a big believer in Trent.

(Wild cheers, applause)

I’m a huge believer in Trent. Trent is fantastic. You know, I wrote a best-seller. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of it, it’s called The Art of the Deal, have you heard of it?

(Cheers, applause)

You’ve heard of it. Ok. I wrote the Art of the Deal and it was one of the best selling business books of all time. I used to say THE best selling business book of all time, but now I say ONE of the best selling business books of all time, because if I’m off by one or two books the media starts busting my chops. So who the hell knows, but it was one of the best selling business books of all time. I have copies in the back, by the way, if you want to buy a copy. Anyway, the Art of the Deal is my second favorite book of all time, but Trent? Trent is my favorite. Trent is number one. I’m a big believer in Trent, ok?

(Cheers, applause)

So anyway, as a convert, I go to my first Mass last Sunday. And I’m sitting there. And it’s in New York by the way, which is Cardinal Dolan’s diocese.

(Boos)

And I’m killing him in the polls by the way. Have you seen the latest poll numbers? The latest poll out of New York has Trump 35%, Dolan 5%. It’s true…it’s true.

(Cheers, applause)

Absolutely killing the Cardinal in the polls. But he doesn’t like to be called Cardinal Dolan, right? He’s running as “Tim!” First he was running as just “Tim,” then he changed his campaign slogan and added an exclamation point after his name so now it’s “Tim!” Why not run as Cardinal Dolan? If you’re a Cardinal, why not be proud of that fact and run as a Cardinal? Although, to be honest with you, with the kind of record he has as Cardinal maybe he’s better off as “Tim! “ Who knows? He might be right to run as “Tim!”.

(Laughter)

“Tim!” is a big supporter of the USCCB by the way. A huge supporter of the USCCB. He wants the USCCB telling you and your kids what to do in each of your dioceses ok? I’m totally against the USCCB and when I’m Pope I’m going to disband it. It’s terrible.

(Applause)

The numbers keep going down and the USCCB keeps getting money and wasting time and, it’s over folks. It will be over, that I can assure you. Anyway…. So I was sitting there at my first Mass in his diocese and I don’t know what to expect because I’ve never been to Mass before, and we all stand up and they start singing this song, ok. And I’m like, what is this song? It’s like…really bad. I mean really bad. And this lady, she looks like Nancy Pelosi, is back there behind the podium with her hand up leading the song and it’s just terrible. And I must tell you. By the way, I must tell you that this will not happen under a Trump papacy.

(Cheers, applause)

Simply will not happen, I promise you. I know musicians. I know great, great musicians. Wonderful musicians. They’re friends of mine. And they ask me, they say, Donald, what is the deal with the songs at Mass, they are so bad. And these friends are professionals. They went to Julliard, ok. The best musicians and they want to help the liturgical music in New York. They are dying to help the liturgical music in New York, but they say, “Donald we can’t” because “Tim!” won’t let us. That’s going to change under a Trump papacy. We’re going to have the best music, I promise you.

(Applause)

So they play this terrible song and the priest walks up and he’s talking about greeting your neighbor and then they say the words and then we say the words, and then everybody says the words, and then the lady butchers the psalms over the guitars and then we say the psalms, and I’m sitting there and I’m like…when do people pray at this Mass? Am I right?

(Cheers, applause)

When do people pray? Is it the few seconds in between when we’re talking? Is it during the bad music? When is it? It’s all talk, talk, talk. The Mass today is like a bunch of politicians. All everyone does is talk. All talk, no action.

(Someone in crowd: All talk, no praying!)

Who said that? This lady here? You’re absolutely right. All talk, no praying. You’re right. At one point I just wanted them all to shut up, because, look. I have nothing against talking ok; I can talk for hours unscripted. I don’t use a teleprompter, I don’t use notes. Someone said to me the other day, but Mr. Trump, the Pope doesn’t use a teleprompter either. And I said, well he actually should use a teleprompter, ok. He should use a teleprompter because when you go off script and you start saying Jesus apologized to people, which many people said was a blasphemy by the way, but when you’re the Pope and you go around saying Jesus apologized…Look, I don’t need to apologize for anything, ok. And if I don’t need to apologize for anything, you think Jesus is going to need to apologize for something? I don’t think so. I don’t think so, and so yes, the Pope needs a teleprompter. Maybe he can borrow Obama’s after he’s fired next year.

(Cheers, applause)

So anyway, I’m sitting there and the talking keeps going on and on and the bad music, etc. Then half way through I’m supposed to shake hands with people. I’m supposed to shake hands with people and I’m like…I’ve just been sitting here for a half hour and didn’t say a word to these people. Actually I couldn’t have said anything to them because of all of the music and the talking, and now after half an hour I’m supposed to introduce myself? After ignoring them for a half an hour? How stupid is this? I’m sorry, but how stupid is this?

(Cheers, applause)

And why am I shaking people’s hands when Jesus is supposed to be on the altar? Isn’t that what Catholics believe? That Jesus is on the altar? That’s what Trent says, right? And yet, we have all these people, all these Catholics, and they’re sitting there and saying hi, and waving, and shaking hands, and who is paying attention to Jesus? I don’t know, maybe it’s just me. I just converted last week, what the hell do I know? But I found that strange. It just shows lack of reverence, doesn’t it? Lack of reverence.

(Cheers, applause)

We don’t have any reverence any more in the Catholic Church. No reverence anymore. I’m a big believer in reverence. You have to have reverence. Because without reverence it all becomes a joke. And the Mass is not a joke, is it? And, I must tell you, that under a Trump papacy we will have so much reverence in the Mass again, you will not believe it. You simply will not believe the reverence.

(Cheers, applause)

And then the Communion comes and the bad music starts. It’s like I’m at a bad Woodstock concert, it really is. The guitars start, the guy with the ponytail starts singing. And I see people going up to receive God, ok. I just converted, but I read this in Trent ok, it says we believe Communion is God. It says it right here, I have it highlighted, ok. And the people are receiving God in their hand, crumbs are falling, they're standing there putting it up to their mouth like a potato chip. They’re dressed like they just came from the mall. And I see this, and I’m like, what are we doing, folks? What are we doing? Are we Catholics or are we Protestants? I know some Protestants who wouldn’t receive Communion the way we receive Communion or dress the way I see some people dressing. No respect, folks. No respect, no reverence. Look, I have a meeting with a CEO and we want to do a deal he comes dressed in a suit. It’s respect. If he shows up in shorts and flip flops I tell him get the hell out of my office, ok. Because it’s a joke. He shows no respect and he’s not taking it seriously. He’s gone. Bye bye. And under a Trump papacy that’s where these people will be. You don’t respect the boss? Bye bye.

(Cheers, applause)

So anyway, that was my first experience at Mass, folks, and I almost left to tell you the truth. This Mass was so bad, I almost left, but then someone told me that this was the “New Mass.” Apparently there was an “Old Mass” and now there is a “New Mass” it’s called the Novus Ordo have you heard of it?

(Boos)

That is apparently what I attended, but I had no idea, I thought it was just the Mass. That it had always been the Mass. But no, this form of the Mass was apparently made up in 1969 by a Pope Paul VI. Sort of like by executive order, if you want to know the truth. He put it in like Obama, even though he had no consensus for it, he puts it in anyway and there you go. Well, I have to tell you folks, under a Trump papacy we are going to repeal and replace the Novus Ordo.

(Wild cheers, applause)

Repeal and replace the Novus Ordo. We have no choice folks, we have no choice. We really don’t. The Novus Ordo is going to collapse on its own anyway. Mass attendance keeps plummeting. We have to do something. The Novus Ordo will be repealed and it will be replaced with something much better and magnificent. More and reverent and beautiful. Don’t you want something reverent and beautiful for our Mass?

(Cheers)

I found this book the other day. It’s a 1962 Missal. I read it, it’s fantastic. Maybe we go back to the 1962 Missal? Is that ok?

(Cheers, applause)

Maybe we go back to Latin. I’m a big fan of the Latin. When we used Latin we were number one. We went to English and now the Muslims outnumber us. They kept Arabic they go to number one, we ditch Latin, we go to number two. I’m just saying. Are there any Trads in the audience? Where are my Trads? Are there any Trads here?

(Cheers, applause)

I have to say that I love the Trads. Under this pope, the Trads get treated like second class citizens. He calls them, what’s the word? “Neo-Pelagians.” “Neo-Pelagians,” you believe that? By the way, why is the Pope always calling us names? He’s always calling us names. He never calls the Muslims names, the Protestants names. But he calls us names. He’s really not a very nice guy in my opinion, ok? He’s actually sort of a nasty guy. Isn’t calling a whole group of Catholics Neo-Pelagians, kind of nasty? And, by the way, did you see the papers today? Today he said I'm not a Christian because I want to build a wall to protect our country's border? Can you believe it, folks? Just unbelievable.

(Boos)

I think we should also maybe build a wall around the Vatican so the pope can't get on an airplane again, let me tell you. Too many interviews on the airplane. Way too many interviews.

(Cheers, applause)

And isn't this the pope who's always talking about the greenhouse gases and the carbon footprint and harming the earth? But yet he keeps flying all over the world on these big 747's belching all kinds of pollutants all over the place. Why? To give interviews? Do you want your pope flying around giving interviews or making the Church great again? I'd be at the Vatican every day making us win again, let me tell you.

(Cheers, applause)

But we have to take care of our Trads, folks. Under a Trump papacy, the Trads will be taken care of, that I can assure you. I know how to build. I build things for a living.  We are going to have a big beautiful altar rail in every Church. A big beautiful rail in the most magnificent, beautiful churches you’ve ever seen. The best incense, the best music, the best everything. And all kinds of Latin Masses. We’re going to have so many Latin Masses. It’s going to be huge! No more Latin Masses at 6am on Saturday morning. We’re going to have Latin Masses at every parish and top quality Latin Masses. We have to take care of our Trads, folks. We have to. We have to and we will.

And another thing we need is we need The Holy Office again. Whatever happened to the Holy Office? They went and they got rid of the Holy Office and now they have what? They have nothing is what they have in all honesty, but what do they call it now?

(Man in crowd: CDF!)

Thank you. That’s what they call it now, the CDF. And what does it do? Who knows what it does. Didn’t Pope Francis tell a religious order he visited not to even worry about the CDF? So what the hell good is it really? Does it even discipline anybody anymore?

(Man in crowd: Trads!)

Ha. Yes, you’re right. Only the Trads. But no they don’t discipline anyone anymore. Look, I’m all about discipline. I love the discipline. I’m the most disciplinarian candidate by far. But we need a strong Holy Office again. We need to build up the Holy Office so big and so strong that nobody would ever think about messing with it, ok? I know some theologians. They are like the best theologians. They went to the best schools, they got the best grades. And they are really tough cookies, ok. They are killers. They know their heresies. And they come to me and they say, Mr. Trump, the modernists are everywhere. They’re coming into the Church, they’re already in the Church, they’re in the schools, they’re in the seminaries, they’re in the parishes, they’re in the curia. And I ask them, why don’t you get rid of them? And they are sad and they are frustrated, and they say, Mr. Trump the Pope won’t let us do it. We know who they are, we know what they said, they’re heretics, but he won’t let us do it. It’s incredible. It’s incredible. Once I’m elected pope, this is all going to change.

(Cheers, applause)

It’s all going to change. I’m going to build a Holy Office so big, so mean, and so strong no modernist would even think of uttering a heresy. And if they did then God help them. They would be out of here so fast. That I can promise you. So we need to bring back the Holy Office and make it strong again. Make it respected again. No more CDF. CDF is out. No more CDF.

(Cheers, applause)

So, as I said before Vatican II was a disaster. It was just a disaster. We were winning; they changed everything, now we’re losing. So I turn on the TV the other day and I’m watching EWTN. I’m watching Raymond Arroyo, and he’s got this guy on there. This pundit, this author, and he’s bashing me, he just can’t stand me. What’s his name? George Weigel. You ever heard of George Weigel? I hadn’t. What a dope. This guy is so overrated. He wears glasses so he looks smart. But he’s always wrong. You think, if you’ve been a pundit for twenty years you’d get something right once in a while, but he gets everything wrong. He says Trump is wrong on Trent, Trump is wrong on Vatican II, Trump is wrong on the Mass. But how can I be wrong? Vatican II was like…a colossal failure. By every statistical measure it’s been a failure. But what does George know? George hasn’t done anything. George gets funded by the Catholic establishment, writes 500-page unreadable biographies, takes a nap, and then does an interview. I’ve built a company worth billions of dollars. A great company. An amazing company. I’ve employed tens of thousands of people. I know how to lead organizations. I know how to win. I make great deals. George hasn’t run anything in his life except his mouth. Total loser. The Catholic media is so dishonest. I tell you.

(Cheers, applause)

The Catholic media is so dishonest. Just the other day “Tim!” holds a rally, gets maybe 50 people, it’s all over EWTN. There’s like 50 old people there in a bingo hall, and it’s all over Catholic World Report, Catholic News Service, The Register, it’s all over. All the pundits are talking about Tim’s rally. I hold a rally, there’s 10,000 people and 5,000 more who couldn’t get in and Raymond Arroyo on EWTN says “Trump held a rally today and some people showed up.” That’s it. So dishonest.

(Cheers, applause)

So what about the modernists? I get asked about the modernists. I hear it all the time. People come up to me and they say, Mr. Trump what are you going to do about the modernists? The modernists have taken over my parish. The modernists have taken over my school. I hear it all the time. Just the other day, this poor mother came up to me and said, Mr. Trump, I don’t know what to do. I took my kids to Mass the other day and the priest said that Jesus didn’t know who He was. Can you believe this? Jesus didn’t know who he was. I’m serious, he said that folks. A priest, in a Catholic Church. Can you believe this? In another parish this man comes up to me and says they’re playing bongos at his Mass. Bongos, ok? Bongos. So, I have to tell you that the modernists are over there. They are ruining Masses, committing sacrileges, blasphemies, heresies, etc. I will knock the hell out of the Modernists, let me just tell you.

(Cheers, applause)

I will hit the modernists so hard. I’ve always said with the modernists, you behead the modernists. You knock out their leaders. You excommunicate the leaders. And you take their writings and you put them on the Index. People asked me the other day, would I bring back the index. I’d not only bring back the index but I’d bring back a lot worse than the index. These are not nice people, ok? They are murdering souls. Everybody’s souls, quite frankly. They need to know we mean business. I would absolutely knock the hell out of the modernists, ok?

(Cheers, applause)

Finally folks, let me just end by saying this. Our Church doesn’t win anymore. We used to win. We don’t win anymore. We lose on dialogue, we lose to the modernists, we lose to the Protestants. When I win, when I become Pope, we are going to take our Church back. We’re going to make our Church great again. We’re going to make our Church reverent again. We’re going to kick the *&^% out of the modernists quickly. So quickly. We’re going to win so much. We’re going to win with conversions, we’re going to win with vocations, we’re going to win with the Mass. We’re going to repeal the Novus Ordo and we’re going to replace it with something so much better. We’re going to win at the altar. We’re going to seal up the sanctuary with a nice big beautiful rail. We’re going to win so much. Win after win after win. We’re going to win so much that you’re going to be begging me, please Holy Father let us lose once or twice, we can’t stand it anymore. And I’m going to say no way! We’re going to keep winning! We’re never going to lose! We’re never ever going to lose! Register and vote! I love you all! Thank you!